8 Wedding Tips and Recommendations for Introverts

Christine Steuber
Apr 26, 2022
Are you planning a wedding ceremony but hate to be the center of attention? Here are some ways shy people can organize an introvert wedding.

Not every bride wants to be in the center of attention during the wedding ceremony, and that’s totally normal. If you get a panic attack and feel anxious while thinking about your big day, then the introvert wedding could be the option you’re looking for.

So, if you feel that it’s your case and you don’t feel comfortable being the center of attention, this article is for you.

I have touched upon all aspects of the wedding and also answered the questions you might have regarding this matter. Without further ado, let’s learn how to plan a low-key marriage!

Who are Introverts?

An introvert is someone endowed with the attributes of a personality type called introversion. This means that such people feel better concentrating on their inner emotions instead of focusing on the outside world events. Introverts prefer spending time in a narrow circle of friends instead of the big crowds.

Most of us think that introverts are just shy people or someone who likes to be alone. Although that’s a half-truth, this personality type bears more qualities. But the key characteristics of introverts are as follows:

  • Need extra alone time.
  • Process everything deeply and are observant.
  • Become over-stimulated in big crowds.
  • Prefer to process their thoughts internally instead of expressing them to someone.
  • Display fewer emotions.
  • Prefer written communication over talking.
  • Choose to confide in a selected group of people.

Introverts aren’t motivated to do the things extroverts love, such as hanging out with large crowds. In contrast, extroverts find socializing rewarding, while introverts find it exhausting. 

For introverts, socializing creates a blurry buzz of activities. They despise loud noise, and there are too many things to give attention to. This overstimulation is draining, which is why they make an excuse to return to their homes. In their apartments and solitude, the level of stimulation is just right. 

So when we sum it all up, it’s completely understandable why introverted couples tend to elope. But for those who want to have a low-key special day to create memories, I’ll be sharing valuable, let’s call them “anti-wedding ideas”.

8 Wedding Ceremony Ideas Appropriate for Introverts

Even if you hate being the center of attention, you can still achieve the wedding of your dreams. And no, I’m not suggesting marrying without a wedding. As the big day approaches, there are some ways to ensure that you have the time of your life.

From planning mini-breaks, skipping the dance, and reimagining the procession, a shy bride can customize all details to feel more comfortable on her special day.

1) Manage the party size

The first step to organizing an introvert wedding is to minimize the guest list. I’m aware of the pressure you will feel from your family, friends, and the wedding industry to throw a huge party. 

But since introverted couples get emotionally drained that way, I’ll tell you how to have a wedding without friends. Simply shorten the guest list or have a small ceremony in your backyard. 

If you are not sure how to cut down the guest list, take a paper and pencil and draw a graph just like the one you can see below. Write down the names and, in the end, you will know who needs to get the wedding invitations.

Guest link prioritization graph
Credit: Pinterest

This will take the pressure off your shoulders and put you right in your comfort zone. Moreover, you can also consider decreasing the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Doing so will prevent all the potential fuss. Needless to say, conduct a small bridal party too.

2) Establish a strict photo and video policy

Nowadays, as with all the important occasions, people are more inclined to capture each moment rather than being in the present and enjoying everything. This is why wedding photographers and videographers are so much in demand these days. 

But for the introverts under the influence of social anxiety, this sounds like a total nightmare. Therefore, I suggest you stick with one photographer only for your introvert wedding. Believe me, one competent photographer is more than sufficient than hiring an entire team of professionals who will be sticking cameras in your face (a total nightmare!). 

Not only will you be doing a favor to your pocket, but your comfort zone will be safe. Hunt for a reliable photographer with your partner, and make yourself comfortable with the professional before the big day. 

But in case you don’t want to be filmed at all, consider having an unplugged wedding ceremony. I know someone in my circle who did this, and they were 100% satisfied with their decision.

An unplugged wedding is where the bride and groom ask the guests to switch off their cameras and phones during the ceremony. In such a wedding, no one takes pictures, and all guests remain offline.

3) Hire the wedding organizer

Weddings are anything but easy to plan. I remember how complicated the process of planning my own wedding was, even though my partner was highly supportive and tackled most problems. So, I strongly advise you to hire a trustworthy wedding organizer withgreat expertise in the industry. Trust me, this is the best investment you can make in your wedding, especially for an introvert.

Imagine the following: having to contact the guests, visiting different places, and being in continuous communication with everyone is pure torture for introverted people. Therefore, shake off all the wedding responsibilities from your shoulders, and let the organizer handle everything, including the venue itself.

Thomas William via Unsplash
Credit: Thomas William via Unsplash

How much do private weddings cost?

The prices are lower than for a ceremony with over a hundred guests. For instance, the Hive Wedding Collective offers the Full Wedding Planning Package, which starts at $7000 – $10,000+, and includes a planning meeting, unlimited site visits to the ceremony, reception location to create your floor plan and timeline, transportation management, help with rehearsal dinner, bridal luncheon, post-wedding brunch plans and more! You won’t have to worry about anything, just let these amazing professionals do everything for you.

4) Skip the dancing part

Today’s weddings are incomplete without dancing, but introverts can find that quite intimidating. So, I will share activities that aren’t dancing but are still fun enough to have a great time with your loved ones at an introvert wedding. 

Hitting the dance floor isn’t the only way to keep the party going! Lawn games (horseshoes and cornhole), puzzles, and board games are great crowd-pleasers. These also keep the children entertained throughout the event as well.

Lawn games instead of dancing at a wedding
Credit: Pinterest

If you are planning a small wedding, keep it simple and light up a bonfire – the coziness of it will make everything more intimate.

Bonfire activity for a private wedding
Credit: Pinterest

But in case you do want to dance but are dreading the pressure, I have got some tips for you to make that enjoyable. Rather than hitting the dance floor with your partner right away, you can dance with your father for a bit instead. Besides, this moment is just so endearing, in my opinion, take a look:

Dance with the father wedding activity
Credit: Pinterest

That was something my friend did. For the first 30 seconds of the song, her dad helped her calm down by dancing along with her. And later, she admitted to me that it really soothed her nerves! 

Afterward, the DJ invited other daughters and fathers to dance. You can consider doing the same thing with the mother and son dances, as it will put the spotlight on everyone, instead of just the couple. 

You can pick any of these wedding activities as a substitute for the couple’s dance.

P.S. You can also skip the garter toss if that makes you feel uncomfortable.

5) Go for alternative reception ideas

A traditional reception, particularly a wedding receiving line, can be nerve-wracking for introverts. But it is also impossible to skip greeting your guests. So, to take off the pressure, let me share some tips for reformatting the conventional reception.

Instead of a wedding full of white arrangements, white chairs, and white tables, feel free to go with decorations that will warm up the cold, classic ballroom and make you feel more cozy and relaxed.

A great idea for a unique reception is to add lounges. It will offer a space for the guests who don’t want to be on the dance floor. Lounges will let everyone socialize in a comfortable setting, as you can see in the picture below:

A lounge for introvert guests at a wedding
Credit: Pinterest

And speaking of socializing, you just need to find introverts like you at the wedding. They will be sitting on the edges rather than huddling up in the crowds. Just walk up to the guests that are away from everybody else and start a conversation. You can compliment their attire or ask them how they know the couple.

6) Go with traditional vows

The vows belong to one of the many extroverted wedding traditions. Couples often write lengthy vows in which they reflect on the great attributes of their partner, how they met or fell in love with each other, and how happy they are to start a new chapter together.

Reading the wedding vows
Credit: Pinterest

But introverts don’t feel comfortable sharing such personal stuff in front of everyone. So you can totally skip the vows if you have stage fright, but if you don’t want to dismiss it, go with the traditional vows and save the personal stuff for the time when you’re alone with your partner. A simple ‘I do’ is not only sweet but very easy to say. 

And if you want to add a dose of extra emotions and uniqueness to reciting the vows at your introvert wedding, you can also say „I do from now to eternity“ or something similar. Whatever you decide, the only thing that matters is that you feel good while saying it.  

Other ideas for vows are:

  • Pre-record your speech and display it as a video. Voiceover vows will keep your anxiety at bay. You can even be out of earshot while the video is running.
  • Share the vows before or after the ceremony.
  • Guests or bridal parties can write touching message wishes or advice in the guestbook.
  • Add a performance or a special reading from a loved one as a substitute for reading the emotional vows out loud.

All of these ideas will work great for an introvert bride and groom.

7) Plan recharge time

If the wedding celebrations take a lot of time, it will wreak havoc on your energy. In order to survive the lengthy introvert wedding, don’t forget to include the recharge time. You have to add some alone time as a gift for yourself, even if it’s only ten minutes. 

Make sure to spend the recharge time with your partner, otherwise, the day will end without spending quality time with each other. Even before the special day, try to pick a specific hideaway in the venue where you both can rest peacefully.

Taking a break during the wedding
Credit: Pinterest

A hallway or bathroom are common spots. And believe me, no guest will notice that you’ve been away for 10 minutes. It is not selfish to take mini-breaks.

8) Include pets in your wedding

To ensure that you remain confident and comfortable, organize a wedding ceremony with your pets. In a study conducted by Scientific American, having your furry friends around boosts your confidence, uplifts your productivity, and decreases stress. 

Pet owners can not imagine excluding their best friends at their wedding. If you’ve been with your pet for a long time, it’s safe to say that they are your family. So, they absolutely deserve to be a part of your special day.

Engage pets in a wedding ceremony
Credit: Pinterest

There are many exciting ways to incorporate pets into your ceremony. With the cooperation of your loved ones and the wedding organizer, your pet can be engaged in all the events. For instance, you can capture memorable pictures with them, designate a sitting area, or have them deliver rings down the aisle. 

Just having them in your view will calm down your nerves, which is what you want at the introvert wedding ceremony.

How Can an Introvert Enjoy a Wedding as a Guest: Most Popular Questions Answered

Enough about couples for now, there are also shy guests who don’t know how to survive a wedding as an introvert. 

For people who hate attention, there are ways to regulate your social battery and feel comfortable. If you are a guest at a wedding about to be held soon, you must have some burning questions in your mind. The following FAQs section will explain how to survive someone’s ceremony as an introvert.

How can an introvert survive a wedding?

For most of the ceremony, you can just find a cozy spot and keep sitting. No one cares or will even remember whether you interact with others. Just take a drink, smile, and remain seated.

Another thing to know is that an introvert without friends will find it difficult to survive the wedding. So, if your friends are coming along, keep them close throughout the day.

Other tips are wearing a comfy dress and taking short breaks to fuel your social battery.

What can you do at a wedding if you are shy?

You can identify other introverts at the event. If someone approaches you for a talk, prepare conversation starters to break the ice. For instance, ask how they are related to the couple and where they purchased their dress, suit, bag, or something else.

How do you become social at a wedding?

Here are a few tips that might help you relax and become more social:

  • Line dances and group songs are the best way to make connections.
  • Introduce yourself politely to the other guests at the table and participate in conversations.
  • Have a drink to loosen up, but don’t overdo it with alcohol.

Remember that the goal is to enjoy the moment and not care what people think about you.

Do you have to dance at a wedding?

A wedding day is considered incomplete without dancing. But for introverted guests, it can be a nightmare. Know that you are not the only guest there, and no one cares whether you dance or not. 

It is definitely not compulsory for you to hit the dance floor. If it’s not in your comfort zone, you can explain it to anyone calling you to join the crowd.

Can you leave the wedding party early?

Attendance at a wedding is only done to inform the couple that you made time and effort to be a part of their special day. As long as you interact with the couple and their relatives for a while, no one will mind if you decide to leave early.

If possible, stay for the cake cutting and make sure to express best wishes for the couple.

Over to You

Our Q&A section concludes, how introverted couples and guests can have the best wedding without compromising their comfort zones. To sum up, these are the alternative wedding ideas for shy couples:

  • Cut down the guest list.
  • Have an unplugged wedding, or establish a strict filming policy.
  • Hire a wedding organizer.
  • Less dancing.
  • Wear the wedding dress according to your body type to feel comfortable and hide the flaws.
  • Opt for different reception arrangements.
  • Stick to traditional vows.
  • Have mini-breaks.
  • Add your furry friends to the wedding.

In short, prioritize your comfort and social battery over everything. Plus, never give in to the wedding industry peer pressure. The goal of the wedding is your happiness, even if it means sacrificing the expectations of everyone else. 

If you find this guide helpful, I encourage you to check out more wedding-related articles on my blog!

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